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Half Life Source Tales from the HL

Published on January 30th, 2013 | by Michaela Buckley

0

Tales from the Half Life Pt.1

I take so bloody long to play games it may as well become a project. Something to keep me busy at the Old folks home as I’ll still be playing Half Life then.

As some of my trusted (and foolishly so I’ll hasten to add) friends might testify, I haven’t yet completed Half Life. I got right to the end and couldn’t figure out how to beat the boss.
This time round I have got it on Steam (not the scrappy PS2 version thank god) and am going to try again using the new Sourcey version.
It’s always amazing to see all the inventive ways I can illustrate true incompetence at playing this game whilst also pulling at the engine’s seams, so here it is; my Half Life blog.

Started the game and remembered that it has the world’s longest opening. Got out the cart, jumped at the door into Black Mesa – got stuck.

It's got to be a sodding record.

It’s got to be a sodding record.

Obviously, being about as good as the game as David Cameron is at convincing people he goes to Gregg’s like normal people, means that I frequently die and x off the game in a very mature and serious fashion to teach the game some goddamn manners – and apparently the game responds to that sort of behaviour. Badly.

The menu after voting for a Conservative government - and getting Coalition.

The menu after voting for a Conservative government – and getting Coalition.

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