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Ramblings Ni No Kuni

Published on January 26th, 2013 | by Michaela Buckley

0

Ni No Kuni issues, Chicken and Egg, Trending topics

This morning (or last night, I’m never sure in what manner one should refer to dreams from the more recent end of your sleep) I had a dream that my Ni No Kuni preorder got cancelled. Unfortunately, like with my guesses on cheap TV twists, I was right.

There’ve been a lot of problems with order fulfilment in the US thanks to Namco Bandai using Digital River who are about as good at distribution as the trickle down economics in the UK. Then I got an email from Zavvi saying ours had been delayed its dispatch, maybe they mistook our silence on the week delay in the UK as our consent for more.

Ni No Kuni Wizard's EditionI sent a professional email to Zavvi (I was worried if I got aggressive they might do a videogame equivalent of spitting in my food and cancel my preorder) and they replied with the usual industry bollocks of “sorry we haven’t got the stock” (there are employees standing in empty warehouses with all the demeanor of a delimbed cow) and “we have tried talking to different suppliers” (we put these limping bovine hacks on the phone yielding similar results to shouting down holes in the ground) and they were going to cancel and give me a full refund.

At the same time we were also able to reach out to Namco Bandai UK, on Twitter where people can judge them for their silence, who said they were going to speak with their sales team in a few days as they hadn’t heard there were issues with the EU release, probably because they’re so busy nursing the large cartoon-like lumps on their heads actuated by diving into comically large piles of very unexpectedly hard money like Scrooge McDuck. They took my area as it’s the  most pointless thing to ask for whilst also looking like you’re doing something, so maybe if I suspend all previous experience in the diabolic dame we could life, I can “hope” they’ll come back to us soon.

Despite all begrudgement (I’m sure there’s a Dictionary somewhere that carries that word) I managed to get an order for a German one from the Amazon website, but I’m still not best pleased, a bottle cheap Bourbon is hardly going to fix it, so I thought I would get this out of my system along with some other thoughts I’ve had lately.

Now imagine the human equivalent of this picture.

Now imagine the human equivalent of this picture.

The Chicken or The Egg.

I still see loads of news stories with more and more definitive evidence why the egg is the winner. Why is this still seriously being questioned?! I have a scrap of paper somewhere in my notebox with lots of doodles (of gore and boobs and presumably Physics formulae, the epitome of my 13 year old self) and the answer to this pathetic question.

It’s completely theological. If you are a Creationist, it’s the bloody chicken. If you are an evolutionist, it’s the fucking egg.

Right, so now that’s out of the way, Twitter.
Do I really have to change my trending topics everytime a few dozen people kick a ball somewhere in England? I hardly care what people are talking about or thinking or existing but there’s hardly any context for most of what people are going on about with this information, so when the Football comes on it’s like some kind of mental castration for the next hour or however long it lasts. I have to switch to worldwide topics where people seem to spend every waking second with Justin Bieber or some weird Spanish TV show on the brain.

It makes me wonder what the trending topics would be if something like 9/11 happened again. #whereisjustin?   #isjustinsafe?    #yayjustinlives!    #JustinBieber4antiterrorism  and then on. I know there’ll be a 4 in there when they mean “for”. And I’m sure they’ll find some way of capitalising on people’s woes, like #beliebers4justinconcert, as if people wouldn’t have enough on their plate what with people dying and the water levels rising and zombies roaming the planet, in this fictional disaster that I just made up. Where does it end?

These trends seem to read downwards, even including Mrs Doubtfire and her porn songs.

These trends seem to read downwards, even including Mrs Doubtfire and her porn songs.

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